I was mowing the other day. As strange as it may sound, this is a good time for me to think. All my thoughts kept going to Dancing.

Although I was exposed to dancing at a young age. I grew up in a culture that didn’t dance. I have, however, always been mesmerized by the art of Dance. The kids and I love to Dance in the kitchen for fun! I don’t dance anywhere else and I have never had the patience to learn.

There on the lawnmower, it hit me…..Life is a Dance! Our everyday with Dezirae is a dance left, right, two steps forward one step back. So many steps! Sometimes I miss a step, sometimes we push a little too hard. All the while we are dancing!

Have you noticed the pure exhaustion of a dancer when they reach the end of a difficult routine? It is no wonder they are tired! There are so many steps and yet you end up in the same little space you started in! I have an inborn need to move forward! Maybe that’s why I’ve never pursued dancing? Despite ending up where you start it is beautiful!!

And yet, here I am in the dance of life!

When I posted a little over a week ago we were running! Today feels like we are stumbling around the dance floor with 2 left feet. We are exhausted, discouraged, feel like we are moving backwards, but not hopeless! Dezirae has steadily lost the fluid weight from all the edema, lost weight from lost muscle while she was bedridden and then lost a few more pounds. She reached 89 pounds last week. I cannot tell you what this did to my mama heart. It wrecks me over and over! I haven’t posted because I can’t post the pictures Dezi wants me to. It is too painful.

The thing is, Dezirae begged for her life to be spared so that God could be GLORIFIED through her story. We promised at the beginning of this journey to share to bring glory to Him! Yesterday was the worst day in over a month. Dezirae slept, needed oxygen, slept more and barely spoke. When she did speak, this is what she said, “mama have you been praying for me today?”

Dezi is still sleeping but already I can tell that she is breathing easier than yesterday! Praise God!! So despite my impatience with all the moving but not going anywhere, I will hold onto the hope that it will be BEAUTIFUL!!

Prayer requests are to praise God for what he has done to heal Dez, what he is doing and what he will do! Pray that Dezirae’s body will absorb the nutrition she is getting and use it to strengthen her body. That whatever is going on in her lungs will leave! Also for all of us to have strength, patience and grace.