Sarena and Isaac graduated Saturday! We had family in all weekend for that. Sunday we had church, and graduation open houses.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we had appointments and worked on catching up on a few hundred things orotund here.

Tuesday our beloved dog became quite ill. Wednesday we took him to the vet. Then waited for labs to come back!

Thursday morning we were out the door at 7:30. Off to driving school in Cincy for Sarena! After her session we talked to her OT and learned that the time she has before moving to college won’t be long enough to prepare for her license.

Next to Cincy Children’s for scans and Dezirae’s oncology appointment. Whilst she was in CT the vet called….sweet Remi had cancer and organ failure. We would need to have him put down.

On to oncology! Dezirae never wants to see her scans or hear what the doctors have to say. Since we had a room full, I asked The kiddos to wait in the hall. I became a bit suspicious when the doc sent them to the waiting room.

After almost a year of unchanged scans we were once again given bad news! The largest of her lung tumors had almost doubled in size. Surgery is recommended. One more lung surgery, one more surgery period!!!

Dezirae is always angrier and more heartbroken when she gets bad news about a friend than about herself! I know thought that every time rather it’s bad news for her or a beloved friend it diminishes HOPE.

Does it ever get easier hearing that your child’s body is being taken over by deadly cells? Or does each time feel a little more despairing? Or how many times can you watch your child go back to surgery to have another piece of them cut out and yet another scar on top of the already dozens she has collected?

Yesterday we spent the morning saying goodbye to our dog. We have had him 6 years. How did we become so attached? Then I think of all that he has helped us through! 3 adoptions, 4 of our kids first pet, cancer, the first pet 6 of our kids remember, three moves, trips, broken hearts…….soon it was time to go to the vet.

We learned that losing a pet is super hard and that we loved him enough to take the risk on loving another pet! While pets are costly and money seems in a higher demand than supply, especially these days, the money Remi alone has saved us on therapy is priceless! We have children, that although they struggle to attach to us, they can bond with a dog!

How can I be there for all there needs and be a wife? And now their sister is “sick” again? And their best fur friend is dead!

August 1st can’t come fast enough and yet there feels to be so much to work out! Max still needs his mama for milk and to comfort him and yet no babies are allowed in the ICU at All Ever!!! And now another big surgery to prepare for.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a day to celebrate our graduates and yet we are walking around in a fog! Angry, Sad, tired….wondering, when will this end and scared how it will end!

Today we have no encouraging or inspirational words. We are trying to process everything! We are leaning heavily on God for strength.

Thank you for your continued love, prayers and support. Today I have help from my mom and one of my besties! So thankful and blessed to be carried when I can’t even think!!