declares the Lord…..to give you a future and a HOPE!”

While we weren’t surprised that the surgery was cancelled today, it is suffocating to have so many unanswered questions again. Another change in plans, another setback, explaining that the schedule this week(for 7 anxious siblings)has changed yet again….

Exploring for her very own quiet place 🙂

We are weary and worn. We haven’t lost our FAITH but this is so hard!

When our big boys melt to tears or rages because they don’t know how to handle caring so much for a person, when your littles beg you not to leave them again and cry when you step outside for a few minutes, when the twins want to know why mommy can’t be a parent helper in their class(mommy has to help Dezi get better first)….then takes her big sisters face in her small hands and says “Dezi, please get better so mommy can help in our class”…..When we have to repeatedly break bad news to our 12 year old and then her siblings, aunts, uncles and grandparents……..I don’t know if my heart will ever heal from this, if our family will survive, if our marriage will stay intact!!

So today the surgeon and oncologist sat down and talked about a plan after we had spoken with both of them at different times over the last couple days. Nobody really wants to mess with her right(stable) lung if we might have to go after a tumor in the left(already had a tumor removed from it)lung in a few weeks.

Once the surgery was cancelled we met with Dezirae’s oncologist. He and the surgeon are holding onto the hope that this is an old blood clot and not a tumor. We will do another chest C.T. the first week of December. If the mass has shrunk we will be reassured! If it has grown it means that it’s growing fast and will need to be removed ASAP!

I will try to update when we have the C.T. scheduled.

Thank you for the continued prayers! Lift up our fellow warriors too please!