It is extremely hard for me to share my heart with many people, because I already know their opinion or I’m afraid of what they will say. So I will just put myself completely out there and vulnerable to everyone who reads this.
I was born into a family who possess talents. My mom, 1 brother and sister are artists. Daddy and my other brother are natural born mechanics. . . . then there’s me! I can barely draw a stick person for my kiddos and while I am more mechanical than some, I am not a mechanic by a long shot.
Sometimes I wonder, what is my talent, skill, gift? God’s gift to me is a caring heart. I am passionate about children and especially orphans. I first experienced a third world country when I was 13 or 14. My life was forever changed. It was the children who where born into these circumstances. Then in high school I had a teacher, who I watched walk through the adoption process. She worked for months to bring home her daughter, an abortion survivor. I knew then that someday I would adopt.
That brings us up to the beginning of this year when we visited the orphanage where S had spent so many years of her life. I have kissed the faces of children who are stuck waiting for a family. If a family doesn’t come for them by the time they are 12, 14, 16 then they will live on the streets, become prostitutes, homeless, imprisoned, commit suicide and the list goes on and on. Statistics don’t lie!
I have a sadness in deep down in my heart that is almost impossible for those closest to me to understand. We all have people in our lives who are our support system, people we call when we are happy, when we are sad, defeated etc. When people tell me that I am crazy, that I can’t do more, it is too much, you can’t help them all, I question if they know what they are saying.
Everyday since January 24th, 2013 my heart aches. Yes, I am tired and overwhelmed (as much by what others think I can or should do as by the chaos in my house), the housework is never caught up and I don’t always have the energy that I would like to have, but WE ARE BLESSED!! My heart aches, because I know that their are children who are waiting for their mommy to come and their mommy is me!
This is the ministry God has called me to! It’s okay if you don’t understand. Please know that this is more than a crazy person who thinks she can change the world. I know that I can’t bring all these hurting kiddos home. I do know that for every child God calls us to adopt there will be challenges, triumphs and blessings for us and the child. I know, we may loose friends and be misunderstood by family, but that is a small price to pay compared to what we will face for ignoring God’s call for our lives.
Blessings to all ~ Denee
Oh my dear sister. Thank-you for sharing your heart. I love it so dearly and am blessed by the mother you are to your children and the older sister you are to me. I often think I will not EVERY be able to be a mother like you are but I know I can ask you every question in the book. You are so talented and gifted. Praise God for the heart he has placed in you specifically!! Love you and all that you are which is much. el
How many times have I asked God…..WHAT is MY gift! I get it 🙂 Everything you said. Love you
A bit ago, I had 2 blunt, obvious comments that “You would be crazy/You are crazy” within a couple of days. It actually made me laugh because I had to remember myself saying those words not much more than 2 years ago. When we were researching our conviction for adoption in our lives; when someone suggested foster care I distinctly remember saying “No way, you are crazy.” Now that time has passed and we have felt the strength of the Lord to carry us thru we too are open “you are crazy” comments. Another thing that I always reply when people say “I could never do that” is I can not either. . it is HIM! I love the ” we may lose friends and be misunderstood by family, but that is a small price to pay compared to what we will face for ignoring God’s call for our lives.” Bless you sister on your walk with God. love you.